Things You Can Only Get Away With While Pregnant

Things You Can Only Get Away

Pregnancy is a strange time, embrace the strangeness and enjoy the freedom of being able to get away with things whilst pregnant that would otherwise be barely socially acceptable.

Organising Your Life Around the Need to Pee

When pregnant, you can plan a route based on where the public toilets are, postpone a trip or arrive late because of a sudden need to pee (twice) or pee in places you never normally would; staff toilets in shops, behind a hedge (and let’s face it, your pants).

Crying Because, well, Just Because.

It’s ok to cry because a baby is cute, a food tastes funny, there’s a weird smell, you love someone, hate someone, can’t find something or just because you feel like it. It is hormones, people expect it.

Odd Eating and Late Night Trips to McDonalds

Dip your chips in orange juice, put salt on your strawberries and smear chilli sauce on your chocolate muffin; if it’s safe to eat in pregnancy, its fair game. If you absolutely need it at 4am and it requires a trip to the next town then you may need to wake someone to go fetch it, but hey, you’re pregnant!

TMI Conversations

The woman on the bus who tells you about how many stitches she required after childbirth, the friend who shows you her stretch marks, the discussions about leaky boobs and whether or not this discharge is normal. TMI is just par for the course.

Napping

A daytime nap, falling asleep during dinner, cancelling plans so you can sleep. Enjoy it while you can!

Waddling

When you are nearly your due date, being able to get from A to B by any means necessary is a success. If you waddle, it’s because there is a human head descending into your pelvis…..you are entitled not to look graceful right now.

Flatulence

This is something that can be incredibly embarrassing, but if you can’t quite always control your wind, then why waste energy feeling bad about it? As long as it isn’t a habit you continue into the future when you are no longer pregnant, then people will understand. Anyway, it’s funny, no?

Freely Rub Your Belly

You may subconsciously rub your bump or you may need to rub it in order to remove a foot from your ribcage or an elbow from your bladder. Most people will find it sweet, whereas if you aren’t pregnant you will just look hungry or windy. Rubbing your boobs may be less acceptable, but if needs must?

Get Stuck

A deep chair, an awkward position on the floor or rolling over in bed, the larger you get, the more likely it is that you may get stuck. Making old person noises when you try to get up is totally acceptable, as is asking for help.

Forget Names/Routes/Essential Items

‘Baby brain’ may leave you forgetful, foggy, confused and even lost. Write yourself notes, set alarms and try not to forget such essentials as where you live or who the Daddy is.

Spend Hours on Forums

Which is the best baby sling? How many hours should a new-born sleep? Is it normal to pee 30 times a day? Should I be drinking more? When the real world runs out of people to ask and you don’t quite need to call the doctor, online forums are full of pregnancy obsessed people who you can talk to, argue with and roll your eyes at. Just beware, it’s addictive.

Be Insanely Happy and Depressed at the Same Time

Emotions fluctuate with your hormones, so you can feel a whole spectrum of emotional responses in one afternoon. Being happy and sad, excited and terrified, laughing and crying, all at once is not unusual. Go easy on yourself and remember that just as the extreme happiness may pass and be replaced with anxiety, so will the anxiety pass. Remember that hormones and the overwhelming implications of a new baby will all have a big impact on how you feel, and if you think you may need additional help, then it’s totally okay to talk to your doctor or midwife about how you feel.

Author: Arlene Copeland

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