Here are 9 Things Nobody Told You About The Third Trimester!

There’s a lot of books and a whole lot of talk about being pregnant. You hear a lot about conception, and you here SO MUCH about what to expect when you’ve given birth, but there’s a part of having a baby that you usually don’t hear too much about. That’s being nine months pregnant. Everyone skips over that to birth and having a baby around the house, but even though it doesn’t last very long, the, ‘I’m nine months pregnant’ stage feels like it last YEARS, and there’s plenty that you should be expecting.

1. At Nine Months Pregnant, Literally Everything Makes You Uncomfortable

That includes eating, drinking, sleeping, and existing in your own skin. At this point, you’ll be begging to get that baby out of you, even if it has to pop from your stomach alien-style.

2. You Are Also More Horny Than You Have Ever Been In Your Life

Which sucks, because you look about as attractive as a water birth. That said, you know you’ve got a keeper of a man if he manages to get you off and make you feel sexy at this point.

3. Baby Dropping, Braxton Hicks Contractions, And Losing Your Mucus Plugs Are All Signs Of Labour

All good things to know, right? And hey, only some of them sound absolutely horrifying and disgusting, so that’s a plus!

4. You’ll Be Afraid Of Pooping On The Delivery Table

And *spoiler alert* it will happen, so just get over that fear and get that baby out.

5. What The Hell Is Cord Banking?

It’s a process where blood from your baby’s umbilical cord is stored, in case your family needs it for emergency procedures in the future. It’s nifty, but it sure is expensive. That one’s up to you.

6. You’ll Be Planning Your Perfect Birth

And that plan will get totally scrapped by the time the baby comes out. Yeah, get used to that.

7. You’ll Be Remembering Everything Else You Need To Get Done

And it’ll be a long list that you leave unfinished. Don’t worry! It’s time to go and meet your baby.

8. Everyone Else In The Whole World Is Going To Be Bugging You

Get ready for plenty of phone calls, all of them from relatives and friends asking you if you’re going into labour yet. Maybe just record a new message on your voicemail. ‘I’m not picking up right now, but it’s probably not because I’m going into labour. Please stop asking.’

9. You’ll Want To Pack Your Bags

And you should! By all means, be ready. This is an exciting time, and you’re nearly at the end of this whole pregnancy business. Take a deep breath and remember to enjoy yourself.