Understanding pregnancy for men – Sex During Pregnancy

Sex during pregnancy is a tricky issue for some couples. While many couples enjoy a full and healthy sexual relationship during pregnancy, for some couples sex can be completely off the cards, for some or all of the duration.

There are a number of reasons why a couple’s sex life changes during pregnancy ? here are some common concerns that men have about intimacy at this often difficult time;

Sex During Pregnancy – For Men?What if I hurt her or the baby??

Rest assured that your baby is very well protected. If your partner is happy to get physical, there is no reason to worry about hurting her. Obviously you might want to be gentler, or to avoid positions that make her uncomfortable or involve leaning on the bump? with a little creativity you should be able to enjoy a full sex life without fear of doing any damage. If it was dangerous to have sex during pregnancy, the doctor, the midwife and everyone else involved in your partner’s care would make it very clear that sex was off-limits.

?I see her as a mother, not a lover?

You might not even realise that this is how you are thinking, but it is very common to feel uncomfortable with getting sexual with your partner when you are changing how you view her. Explain this tactfully and work on spending time together doing non-pregnancy related things. Remember that your partner feels like the woman she always has been as well as a mother, and you need to recognise this new dual role and learn that viewing her as a mother doesn?t take away from her role as your lover ? she isn?t your mother!

?I?m too tired and stressed?

Pregnancy takes its toll on everyone involved, and as the person giving your partner the support she needs, it can be a difficult time for you too. It is best to be honest about how you are feeling, it doesn?t mean you are letting her down or wimping out; just explain that you are feeling tired/anxious/stressed. You are perfectly entitled to your own feelings even if it isn?t you carrying the baby. Try to make time to relax together, this will help with the stress and make you feel more inclined to get romantic with your partner. It is essential you do things together that aren?t about pregnancy or babies, so suggest a romantic meal, cinema trip or a journey you won?t be able to do so easily when baby arrives.

?She isn?t interested in sex?

This is a tricky one. If she genuinely isn?t interested because she is worried about the baby, then speak to your doctor or midwife together about how sex is safe during pregnancy and get some reassurance. She may feel self-conscious or unattractive now that her body is changing so dramatically. Talk about this, reassure her that her pregnant body is beautiful and take things slowly. Don?t try to make her feel like you need sex and she is being unreasonable ? it is normal for her to feel protective of her body, she should only be having sex with you if she wants to and feels safe and comfortable. Talk it through and get to the bottom of any issues so that you can either move forward towards being more intimate or accept that sex will be off-limits until after the birth and work on making the relationship stronger and supporting one another through the pregnancy.